Summer has arrived and the 3rd trimester is underway!
I'm 10 weeks from baby's due date now, which is really good, and kind of crazy. I already feel really large, and I'm not sure I can continue expanding for another 10 weeks. For real. I might pop.
I've been teaching BodyPump classes still, though I've needed to make some modifications. I can no longer do crunches, leg extensions, or lying-flat-on-my-back abdominal exercises, but I can still do planks, hovers, mountain-climbers, etc. I can't pull the bar up into a proper upright row, keeping the bar close to the body, because my belly is getting in the way. So I've switched to using hand weights for that move. But otherwise, the teaching is going okay.
I am not, however, having much luck continuing to run. There's not much room for my lungs to do their job, and I find that it causes me to have contractions. Not the super-painful, labor-type contractions. But the kind that suck your breath away, and tighten your entire abdomen into one big cramp. Yeah. Super.
So, I'm giving up on running for the time being. I'll get back to that later, when there's not an extra human living in my body. ;-)
These last few months, I have not been myself. Besides not being able to do some things that I really enjoy (running, high-intensity exercise classes, drinking wine, wearing NORMAL CLOTHES!), and being a little jealous of those who can (ahem! Joel's been training for a half marathon, and hitting a PR practically every time he goes for a run), I've been just feeling really overwhelmed and unsure and emotional. Feeling lonely, but at the same time, just wanting solitude.
We weren't really planning on having another baby right now, and part of the unexpected is the doubt. I'm trying to remember that God's got a plan, and his timing is perfect... that he's got this, and I don't need to be anxious. But I'm a planner. I like to know what I'm in for, what's next, so it's hard for me.
I'm worried about finances. I'm worried about adding newborn demands to an already busy house. I'm anxious about juggling feeding schedules and nap schedules and school, work and class schedules. About doing a good job training and teaching my kids, and still having time to enjoy the precious individuals that they are.
I have goals and things of my own that I want to accomplish, but I worry that I will need to put them on hold indefinitely, because pursuing them feels selfish when everyone else needs so much of me. I recently realized that though I have lots of acquaintances and wonderful family, I have few, if any, close friends. I worry that I'm going to lose myself entirely if I don't make time for myself and for relationships, but that actually feels impossible. I'm juggling balls here, and if I add another, I'll drop one.
At the same time, I'm totally aware of the precious, fleeting moments and days that are flying by. I can't snuggle, or squeeze or listen to them enough, I know. I am totally maxed out with love here. And also totally maxed out on patience, most of the time. :-)
It's all part of this mom-wife-human gig, I know. And some days I just don't know how much more I have in me.
I know those are fairly normal things to feel, and I'm trying to cut myself some slack. But you know, sometimes, it feels like entirely too much effort to put on your happy face. I've been trying really hard just to show up some days. Church, friends, family gatherings, exercise... all of these things I am usually engaged in and enjoy. But lately, well... it all just feels like too much.
I keep reminding myself of this phrase: You are what you do.
I can't be excellent in any area of my life without putting in the effort. I need to show up, even when I don't feel like it.
And you know what? Showing up doesn't always feel worth it, even afterward. But I know it's how you get through life. One step at a time. Whether those steps are trudging, shuffling steps, or skipping, twirling steps. One foot in front of the other.
So for now, I'm over here growing larger every day, showing up, reminding myself that I am what I do, and that God will take care of what I can't do. It's all good.
6.19.2014
3.24.2014
The best laid plans.... and The Encouragers
If you've read my recent posts, you know I've been working on getting certified to teach BODYPUMP classes at my local YMCA.
The whole thing has been more work, and more fun, than I had anticipated.
I went through the training, and started teaching classes about 6 weeks ago.
2 weeks ago, I submitted my video to Les Mills for evaluation. Basically, I had to film myself teaching the 1-hour class, and they will review it and either pass or fail me. :-)
Well, not exactly. Either they'll give me my BODYPUMP certification, or they'll tell me what I need to work on, and give me a little time to re-submit another video, showing improvement.
So now that I've sent in that video, it's a waiting game. Anywhere from 4-8 weeks, which is a REALLY LONG TIME!
In the mean time, I am teaching classes and LOVING IT!!!
So, everything seems to be going as planned, right?
WRONG!
:-)
I found out about a week before my initial BODYPUMP training course, that I am pregnant. Sweet! Awesome! But totally not part of the plan! It seems like every time I think I have my next chapter in life planned, BAM! something entirely different rolls around. I guess some of my plans, like running Tough Mudder (which I already paid for :-/) and another half-marathon this summer, will need to be put on hold for a little while.
I was really nervous about getting into teaching group exercise at a time when I would be losing some of my strength/endurance, and gaining weight. I mean, who wants to start out as the rapidly-expanding pregnant instructor?!
But you know what? I have been blessed to have some pretty awesomely positive people in my life. They are like super-heroes, with the power to spur other people on and lift them up. The Encouragers in my life maybe don't even realize the words they say and the attitudes they carry are pumping others up all around them, but I want to join their league.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant today. That's 17 down, 23 to go. So far, so good.
I'm in the crazy middle of trying to figure out how this is all going to fit. Who will move to what bedrooms (We're forfeiting our office), what our schedule will look like with 4 kids, how long it'll be before I get another solid night's sleep.... you know, that stuff.
And, for now, I'm still teaching BODYPUMP and running (a lot less than I'd like). I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep teaching all the way through this pregnancy, but the doctors have assured me that as long as I feel able, and everything is progressing normally, I should be able to. I'll need to modify a few things, but it's all doable. So that's my new plan.
When I went in for my doctors appointment, the doc said, "well, I see your appetite is good. You've already gained 10 lbs. Keep in mind, weight gain is more rapid in the second half, so you're really going to want to pace yourself, since you've gotten a head start". Oh boy. Let's just say the doc is not one of The Encouragers. ;-)
So, YAY for babies!
And remember to be a positive, encouraging person. Do not underestimate the power of kind, honest encouragement!
2.03.2014
One step at a time
In November and December, I completed my Group Fitness certification through AFAA and my CPR/AED/First Aid certification through Red Cross. These enable me to teach classes, in general, but don't really provide much education specific to any particular exercise practice.
A few weeks ago, I went through my initial Les Mills BODYPUMP training. This was a 2-day intense training, designed to challenge you and also to prepare you with all of the knowledge, technique and tools to start teaching BODYPUMP.
A week or two after I registered, I received the music CD, DVD, choreography book, and my track assignments, which were squats and shoulders. I had a couple of weeks before training to memorize my tracks and get familiar with the rest of the release.
There were 19 people in the training, and it was 9 hours the first day, and 8 hours the 2nd day. We were told to bring all of the food and drinks we may want/need, because there may be limited time for breaks. And thank goodness for the warning! The longest break we had the first day was 15 min!
Day 1, we went through the whole release (all of the tracks that make up the 1-hour class) right after introducing ourselves. This was a good thing, as it got the energy up, the blood pumping, the sweat rolling, and the jitters out.
After that, we had a big block of lecture time, followed by a short break to eat, use the bathroom, and get in the mindset to teach your first assigned track.
We went through the whole release again, as each person took their turn teaching their first track. Then on to more lecture time, focusing on how to teach better, and then we were done for the day.
I was so nervous going into day 1 that it was really just a relief to have it over with. I was tired, and hungry, and it felt really good to crawl into bed that night. :-)
The next day, we were back at it bright and early.
Day 2 was packed full of hard work, and we started right away.
We started off with a little lecture, and then went through the whole release, taking turns teaching our 2nd assigned track. We had a little snack break, and some more lecture, and then it was time for the BODYPUMP CHALLENGE!
We all knew this was coming, and that it should be feared, dreaded, and also conquered. It was as challenging as we had heard, but we were all a little tougher than we thought (except me... I'll explain in a minute).
We started off with a 15 min spinning session, to get everyone's heart rates revved up. Then we moved into the weight room. Normally, in BODYPUMP, it's all about muscle endurance. We don't lift max weights in BODYPUMP. We lift challenging weights, for a bazillion reps, and we increase those weights as we're able, so that we see continuous improvement.
But during the challenge, we were told to lift 3-4 times the heaviest we had ever lifted in any particular lift, and we were aiming to lift to failure. (Which means until your muscles absolutely will not do another rep or inch.)
We paired off to encourage and spot each other. The trainer paired us up based roughly on size, and the chick I was paired with, well... "though she be but little, she is fierce"!
So we loaded up that bar, and we took turns spotting each other to muscle failure. This was supposed to show us that we are way tougher than we think we are. That our bodies are stronger than we give them credit for. That we should not be afraid to increase those weights. And for pretty much everyone else, it had the desired effect.
My Fierce-But-Little partner was a freakin' rockstar! She had to keep adding weights in order to max out. Then, when it was my turn, I'd feel really determined to just take her bar, with her weights still on it, and go for it, but.... my body just would not lift what she could lift. So almost every time it was my turn, I had to take weights off (except for squats). Which kind of just left me feeling like a wimp. I still maxed out every muscle group, but it didn't feel like much of an accomplishment in comparison.
**side rant**
Isn't that so often the case? Comparison is dumb. It takes all the joy out of life, man! We really gotta quit comparing ourselves with anyone else. My life is my race to run, and nobody ever said I need to run it as fast or as far as anyone else, as long as I run it to the best of my ability to the very end.
Isn't that so often the case? Comparison is dumb. It takes all the joy out of life, man! We really gotta quit comparing ourselves with anyone else. My life is my race to run, and nobody ever said I need to run it as fast or as far as anyone else, as long as I run it to the best of my ability to the very end.
**end side rant**
Anyway, after maxing out each muscle group, we then went into a 3-min hover plank. When every muscle in your body is trembling, it is hard- I mean REALLY HARD- to hold a steady hover for 3 min. But we were almost done, and everyone was cheering each other on. It really was one last "Come on! We're all in this together! We can't quit now! Let's finish this!" kind of plank-party! :-)
That was the end of the challenge, but not the end of our training. We had a lunch/recharge break for 25 min, which was the longest break we had over the 2-day training.
Then, with Bambi-like wobbly legs, we went through the entire release one last time. Each person taught their 2nd track one more time, adding in lots of the good tips and techniques we had learned. This last go-around was the absolute best! Everyone was so over any jitters, and was so sore and exhausted and charged up. We could see the finish line. We could FEEL the finish line, and we cheered each other to it. This was definitely, despite the fatigue, everyone's best teaching moment. It was a little bit of "fitness magic". ;-)
After we received our assessment forms, we had a little wrap-up pow-wow, where we went around and talked about our favorite moments of the training, what we got out of it, etc. Then, it was time to shake hands with each individual there, and say goodbye. SOMEBODY started crying, which then made everybody else cry, and pretty soon, everyone was shedding those stupid little joy-tears that slip out even if you try your damnedest to cage them in. I mean, I didn't cry, of course. But other people did. I successfully held all of my joy-tears captive, and told the person who started the waterworks to knock it off! ;-)
So that was that.
So that was that.
I passed!
Now I have to co-teach with already-certified instructors at the Y until I am confident enough to teach on my own. I have 2 months (actually, more like 6 weeks now- yikes!) to film myself teaching the hour-long class on my own, live, with real participants and stuff (as opposed to fake ones? or....), and submit it to Les Mills for review. They'll decide if my timing, form, technique, and cuing are up to snuff. If not, they'll give me feedback and I'll have to re-submit another video. If so (and gosh I hope so), they'll certify me to teach.
So that's a little update on the slow progress I'm making over here. I just thought I'd better recap my BODYPUMP training experience while it was still somewhat fresh in my memory.
9.27.2013
Here goes nothing!
You guys, I am so excited and terrified about my latest goal, that I have hesitated to talk to many people about it at all.
I love my group fitness classes at the Y. I love the instructors there, and the energy, and the team-like atmosphere between the regulars.
I love it so much that I decided to get certified to teach!
I've been talking with Joel about doing this for the last year or so, and started googling info and asking questions over the last 6 months. In the process of looking into the options and certifications, I had to sift through some different opinions, and decide what route I'd like to take. I talked to the group fitness director at my gym, and a few of my favorite instructors about what they did, and what they'd recommend.
And today, I registered. I'm signed up for my Group Exercise certification workshop and exam. I'm doing it. For real.
And now that I've paid my first $300, and announced it here on the world wide web (let's be real, probably only a dozen people will read this), I'm horrified.
I'm not the most super-fit lady I know. I'm not the peppiest, most outgoing lady either. I can't do more than a few pushups on my toes, and I still can't do a pullup. But you know what? If I wait until I get all of that figured out, I may never feel strong enough, good enough, fit enough to do it at all.
So this is as much a personal journey as anything.
I know that learning to teach high-energy classes while speaking (not huffing and puffing) into a microphone is not going to come naturally. It's not going to be easy or quick. I will need to improve... a lot. And that's part of the journey that I'm excited about.
Yesterday, a friend told me that I inspired her to start running.
And you know what? Someone once inspired me to start running.
And someone inspired her to start running.
I am not really thin or super fit, but something about my journey is able to motivate someone else to start a new one of their own. The lady who inspired me to start didn't have a chiseled body or a bunch of medals, but her determination was admirable. And I thought, if she can do this, maybe I can too.
And that's the really cool thing. Being able to spur each other on. We have the opportunity to be part of a chain of contagious encouragement and enthusiasm!
SO WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOSE?
Maybe I will suck.
I mean... I'm not the most coordinated person out there.
My bridesmaids tried for like 2 hours to teach me the Electric Slide, unsuccessfully, before calling me a hopeless case.
(Wine may have contributed to my inability to remember the steps... maybe.)
I might find that I don't enjoy it like I thought I would.
Maybe I won't lose a single inch or pound.
(My love of pizza, beer, ice cream, pasta, wine... food in general... may very well make that the case.)
But maybe I'll finally know what I want to be when I grow up.
Maybe I'll get in the best shape of my life, and inspire some other people to do so alongside me.
Maybe I'll be so incredibly glad that I didn't wait until I felt or looked like a fitness instructor to become one.
So... here goes nothing!
6.25.2013
My first half marathon recap!
Check!
One item crossed off the bucket list!
I ran the Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon over the weekend, my very first half marathon, and it was fantastic.
A friend of Joel's from high school, along with his adorable wife, persuaded us to sign up for this race back in February. It's a lottery, and we signed up as a team of 4, so we were either all in or all not. It runs in conjunction with Grandma's Marathon, and is a HUGE race.
After getting in, I set to work putting together a training schedule that worked for us. It was a hybrid of a few different ones I found online, and included running 3x/wk for 12 weeks.
We decided to keep it loose.
So each week, we had to find time to complete our 3 runs for the week, in no particular order, and on no particular day.
Because that's the way we roll.
If we had set it up in any strict fashion, we would have surely screwed it all up. :-)
One item crossed off the bucket list!
I ran the Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon over the weekend, my very first half marathon, and it was fantastic.
A friend of Joel's from high school, along with his adorable wife, persuaded us to sign up for this race back in February. It's a lottery, and we signed up as a team of 4, so we were either all in or all not. It runs in conjunction with Grandma's Marathon, and is a HUGE race.
Training Schedule |
We decided to keep it loose.
So each week, we had to find time to complete our 3 runs for the week, in no particular order, and on no particular day.
Because that's the way we roll.
If we had set it up in any strict fashion, we would have surely screwed it all up. :-)
4.07.2013
I'm gonna rock 2013... I hope. :-)
I will be turning 30 this summer.
I am not even a little bit afraid of that number. In fact, I'm so used to being the youngest, that it's almost a relief to be entering my 30's. Like I'll finally be legit. :-)
But for some reason, I have an incredible amount of drive this year, to cross some things off of my bucket list.
I have struggled the last 5 or 6 years with inconsistency. I desperately want the life I live to be congruent with the life I want to live, and with what I believe. I have been compelled to challenge myself, by identifying what is really at the core of my beliefs, goals and motivations. And to try to narrow down my priorities and focus on growing into my real self.
Maybe 30 is a little late to be just now evaluating all of this. Better late than never, right?
So here are some things I am working toward this year:
I am reading the Bible cover to cover. In order. Not skipping even the most cringe-worthy or boring parts.
I struggle sometimes, with reconciling the almighty, just, holy God of the Old Testament, with the God who would humble himself so much as to die for us. I want to understand God's heart for me, for us.
I have read the whole bible a couple of times, but it's always been broken down for me into a kind of daily schedule. Usually something like 1 chapter of the Old Testament, 1 chapter in Psalms, 1 in Proverbs, and 1 in the New Testament. ... Or something similar. And I've read many parts of the Bible dozens of times, maybe more. But it seems like it loses all of it's chronology and context when it's all broken up in chunks.
So I want to just take it as it is. And read it all the way through. And soak up the STORY of it.
I'm training to run a half marathon in June.
I didn't start out with any intention of becoming a "runner". But I am amazed at what this running stuff has done for me. I have never been athletic or physically fit, and it has never been much of a priority for me. However, I want my body to be strong and healthy. Osteoporosis runs in my family, as does heart disease. Running seemed to me to be a good, accessible fitness option, since you don't need any equipment or a membership to a gym.
Over time I have decided that I love it. It reminds me how lucky I am to be ABLE to move my body in this way; I know many people who physically don't have the option of running. It reminds me that this vain physical perfection women are pushed to pursue is so unimportant. My body is not my identity! It is a tool, a vehicle. And I want to teach my girls to love their bodies for all of the things their bodies enable them to do, not for what they look like.
Oh, also, it makes me feel just a little bit bad-ass to have sweat literally dripping off of me. :-)
I want to get baptized this year.
When I was a baby, I was not baptized, I was dedicated. In a ceremony where the parents dedicate their child to God, and where they publicly vow to raise that child in the Christian faith.
Now, I think the issue of baby baptism vs. dedication is debatable, but I'm not debating it. I think the intentions of our hearts are what God's looking at, not weather we were splashed or simply prayed for in the front of a congregation as an infant.
Nonetheless, my mom explained to me as a child that she believed baptism should be something one chooses, when they are old enough to understand that choice.
I have wanted to be baptized many times, but wanted it not to be just a religious next-step. I want to read, understand, and wholeheartedly mean it, when I make that commitment.
So that's my to-do list so far for this year.
Now that I've shared it with you, I'm accountable to follow through, right? :-)
I am not even a little bit afraid of that number. In fact, I'm so used to being the youngest, that it's almost a relief to be entering my 30's. Like I'll finally be legit. :-)
But for some reason, I have an incredible amount of drive this year, to cross some things off of my bucket list.
I have struggled the last 5 or 6 years with inconsistency. I desperately want the life I live to be congruent with the life I want to live, and with what I believe. I have been compelled to challenge myself, by identifying what is really at the core of my beliefs, goals and motivations. And to try to narrow down my priorities and focus on growing into my real self.
Maybe 30 is a little late to be just now evaluating all of this. Better late than never, right?
So here are some things I am working toward this year:
I am reading the Bible cover to cover. In order. Not skipping even the most cringe-worthy or boring parts.
I struggle sometimes, with reconciling the almighty, just, holy God of the Old Testament, with the God who would humble himself so much as to die for us. I want to understand God's heart for me, for us.
I have read the whole bible a couple of times, but it's always been broken down for me into a kind of daily schedule. Usually something like 1 chapter of the Old Testament, 1 chapter in Psalms, 1 in Proverbs, and 1 in the New Testament. ... Or something similar. And I've read many parts of the Bible dozens of times, maybe more. But it seems like it loses all of it's chronology and context when it's all broken up in chunks.
So I want to just take it as it is. And read it all the way through. And soak up the STORY of it.
I'm training to run a half marathon in June.
I didn't start out with any intention of becoming a "runner". But I am amazed at what this running stuff has done for me. I have never been athletic or physically fit, and it has never been much of a priority for me. However, I want my body to be strong and healthy. Osteoporosis runs in my family, as does heart disease. Running seemed to me to be a good, accessible fitness option, since you don't need any equipment or a membership to a gym.
Over time I have decided that I love it. It reminds me how lucky I am to be ABLE to move my body in this way; I know many people who physically don't have the option of running. It reminds me that this vain physical perfection women are pushed to pursue is so unimportant. My body is not my identity! It is a tool, a vehicle. And I want to teach my girls to love their bodies for all of the things their bodies enable them to do, not for what they look like.
Oh, also, it makes me feel just a little bit bad-ass to have sweat literally dripping off of me. :-)
I want to get baptized this year.
When I was a baby, I was not baptized, I was dedicated. In a ceremony where the parents dedicate their child to God, and where they publicly vow to raise that child in the Christian faith.
Now, I think the issue of baby baptism vs. dedication is debatable, but I'm not debating it. I think the intentions of our hearts are what God's looking at, not weather we were splashed or simply prayed for in the front of a congregation as an infant.
Nonetheless, my mom explained to me as a child that she believed baptism should be something one chooses, when they are old enough to understand that choice.
I have wanted to be baptized many times, but wanted it not to be just a religious next-step. I want to read, understand, and wholeheartedly mean it, when I make that commitment.
So that's my to-do list so far for this year.
Now that I've shared it with you, I'm accountable to follow through, right? :-)
10.16.2012
The barn with a name
I have a dream.
A dream that's been growing since I was young, became real with the planning of my wedding, and has become a nagging obsession since.
You might think it sounds crazy, but I want to own a barn.
Yep. You read that right. A barn.
I don't want to raise any animals. I'm not really a big animal person.
I don't want to plant crops, although apple trees would be cool.
No, I want to own a barn as a facility to host weddings and other events.
Here's the story behind this dream:
When I was young, I somehow managed to think I was a country girl. I never lived on a farm. I never rode a horse. I lived in suburban Twin Cities MN. But the woods was my favorite place on God's earth, and I had a thing for antiquity. I used to dream up a wedding in my head where we set up hay bales in rows for guests to sit on during the ceremony, and where we retreated to the rustic stone and weathered-wood barn for a reception and dance.
I've always had a thing for barns. There is something about the architecture of them. They tell a story about a certain period of our history. And they are rotting and falling over in neglect in fields and groves all across our country. They are not being put to use, and so they are deteriorating. It makes me sad to see a barn sagging and collapsing- especially the giant old barns, skillfully built, that have been around for 100 years or more.
When it was time to plan my wedding, my mom and I drove every dang back road within a 20 mile radius of our home, looking for a barn in which we could possibly host a wedding. We checked out apple orchards, family farms, horse stables, wineries... What we found out was that there are really very few such venues in the area.
Click here to see some examples of the kind of setting I'm talking about.
There is a particular barn, in Nowthen, MN (No, really. You gotta love a town named Nowthen!), that I've admired for many, many years. Probably since I could drive a car. I remember driving with my brother, taking pictures of barns and silos as we cruised the back roads in the rural areas north of our home. And I remember once pulling over to take a picture of this one particular barn, and thinking that of all of the barns I'd seen, this one was the most... majestic.
Now, majestic may not seem to you like a great adjective to describe a barn. But it was strong and tall and held its own weight. Though you could tell it was neglected, and would have been entitled to a little sagging here and there, it stood proud. It was unique. It was a round barn, with a giant cupola, brick base, and windows all around. And it commanded a beautiful property, bordering a lake, with mature trees and a beautiful home.
Over time, I've stopped at or driven by this barn many times. And over time, the dream has grown. I WANT THAT BARN! And then I want as many people as possible to see it and enjoy its character.
Just for fun, I began think... what would I name the barn, if ever I were blessed enough to own it?
I prayed about it... I thought about it... I brainstormed... You know, just for fun.
A dozen super-stupid names crossed my mind, and were instantly vetoed. I just couldn't pin a name on the dream.
So I consulted Google. :o)
I started searching for "wedding barn" and "historic barn"... just looking at the names of different barns, both the wedding-venue type, and other. Then I happened to search "historic barns, MN", which led me to a page listing the barns in MN that are on the National Registrar of Historic Places. Just for fun, I clicked on my county, and took a look at the historic sites listed.
And then, holy moly! Guess what I saw?!? MY BARN! Staring at me from my computer screen! The link led to a Wikipedia page, telling me the history and THE NAME of my barn! (Please excuse all of the exclamations. I am fully aware that none of this is as exciting to you as it is to me.)
So there it is. Sparre Barn of Nowthen, MN.
Now I realize that this is sounding silly to some people. But what I'm about to tell you will sound even sillier (sillier is not a word- I know). I want to go knock on the owner's door. I want to show up with a folder of pictures and tell them about my dream for their barn. I want to give them my card (I don't actually have a card- I'm a stay-at-home-mom- but I'd make one especially for them!), and ask them to contact me if ever they were looking to sell the property. I want to research rules and regulations regarding properties on the National Registrar of Historic Places and think about business plans and finances.... and... and...
Halt!
I'm way ahead of myself, I know.
So for now, I will do none of the above.
But I will pray. And I will wait. And if this dream persists, I will probably go knock on their door someday. I will not bombard them with my silly dream, but I will politely give them my contact info and ask them to contact me if ever they sell. And I will pray some more.
A dream that's been growing since I was young, became real with the planning of my wedding, and has become a nagging obsession since.
You might think it sounds crazy, but I want to own a barn.
Yep. You read that right. A barn.
I don't want to raise any animals. I'm not really a big animal person.
I don't want to plant crops, although apple trees would be cool.
No, I want to own a barn as a facility to host weddings and other events.
Here's the story behind this dream:
When I was young, I somehow managed to think I was a country girl. I never lived on a farm. I never rode a horse. I lived in suburban Twin Cities MN. But the woods was my favorite place on God's earth, and I had a thing for antiquity. I used to dream up a wedding in my head where we set up hay bales in rows for guests to sit on during the ceremony, and where we retreated to the rustic stone and weathered-wood barn for a reception and dance.
I've always had a thing for barns. There is something about the architecture of them. They tell a story about a certain period of our history. And they are rotting and falling over in neglect in fields and groves all across our country. They are not being put to use, and so they are deteriorating. It makes me sad to see a barn sagging and collapsing- especially the giant old barns, skillfully built, that have been around for 100 years or more.
When it was time to plan my wedding, my mom and I drove every dang back road within a 20 mile radius of our home, looking for a barn in which we could possibly host a wedding. We checked out apple orchards, family farms, horse stables, wineries... What we found out was that there are really very few such venues in the area.
Click here to see some examples of the kind of setting I'm talking about.
There is a particular barn, in Nowthen, MN (No, really. You gotta love a town named Nowthen!), that I've admired for many, many years. Probably since I could drive a car. I remember driving with my brother, taking pictures of barns and silos as we cruised the back roads in the rural areas north of our home. And I remember once pulling over to take a picture of this one particular barn, and thinking that of all of the barns I'd seen, this one was the most... majestic.
Now, majestic may not seem to you like a great adjective to describe a barn. But it was strong and tall and held its own weight. Though you could tell it was neglected, and would have been entitled to a little sagging here and there, it stood proud. It was unique. It was a round barn, with a giant cupola, brick base, and windows all around. And it commanded a beautiful property, bordering a lake, with mature trees and a beautiful home.
Over time, I've stopped at or driven by this barn many times. And over time, the dream has grown. I WANT THAT BARN! And then I want as many people as possible to see it and enjoy its character.
Just for fun, I began think... what would I name the barn, if ever I were blessed enough to own it?
I prayed about it... I thought about it... I brainstormed... You know, just for fun.
A dozen super-stupid names crossed my mind, and were instantly vetoed. I just couldn't pin a name on the dream.
So I consulted Google. :o)
I started searching for "wedding barn" and "historic barn"... just looking at the names of different barns, both the wedding-venue type, and other. Then I happened to search "historic barns, MN", which led me to a page listing the barns in MN that are on the National Registrar of Historic Places. Just for fun, I clicked on my county, and took a look at the historic sites listed.
And then, holy moly! Guess what I saw?!? MY BARN! Staring at me from my computer screen! The link led to a Wikipedia page, telling me the history and THE NAME of my barn! (Please excuse all of the exclamations. I am fully aware that none of this is as exciting to you as it is to me.)
So there it is. Sparre Barn of Nowthen, MN.
Now I realize that this is sounding silly to some people. But what I'm about to tell you will sound even sillier (sillier is not a word- I know). I want to go knock on the owner's door. I want to show up with a folder of pictures and tell them about my dream for their barn. I want to give them my card (I don't actually have a card- I'm a stay-at-home-mom- but I'd make one especially for them!), and ask them to contact me if ever they were looking to sell the property. I want to research rules and regulations regarding properties on the National Registrar of Historic Places and think about business plans and finances.... and... and...
Halt!
I'm way ahead of myself, I know.
So for now, I will do none of the above.
But I will pray. And I will wait. And if this dream persists, I will probably go knock on their door someday. I will not bombard them with my silly dream, but I will politely give them my contact info and ask them to contact me if ever they sell. And I will pray some more.
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